Raised as a Sicilian-American but potentially also Asian, Guinea John brings his special brand of cynical logic forged through decades in classrooms from both sides of the desk. From his hyena laugh to his angry rants, bipolar has never been this much fun!
October 16th, 2018 | 1 hr 28 mins
airports, billy crudup, book depository, christopher walken, cocktails, dallas, fabulous thunderbirds, flying, grassy knoll, jackie kennedy, john f. kennedy, lee harvey oswald, lyndon johnson, magic bullet, orioles, robert de niro, russian roulette, texas, the deer hunter, the jfk assassination
We dive deep into the mayhem on this one. Guinea John had just returned from a trip to Dallas which led to some discussions on flying, the JFK assassination, and another impersonation of Sam Kinison. Bruce leads another movie tangent ranging from Cocktails to The Deer Hunter and we reminisce about some celebrity crackpots. The Orioles still suck, the Fabulous Thunderbirds are still Tuff Enuff and the Mad Pooper is still at large. Taking the Cynic Route is like a box of Chocolates, fat people love us. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE!
September 10th, 2018 | 2 hrs 5 mins
baseball, blowfly, chris davis, kaepernick, metoo, morgan freeman, nofx, orioles, roseanne barr, social media, televangelist private jet, tim tebow, woody allen
We welcome Beer Can Billy into the studio to share stories and opinions in that sweet, thick, terribly authentic Baltimore accent. We talked about gross people in public, Orioles baseball, and social media's impact on public opinion. We talked about the scandals of the day which were Rosanne Barr, NoFx singer's "off color" quote, and a wealthy televangelist who needs a 4th private jet. Bruce defends Woody Allen to the bitter end and Blowfly and An@l C%t compete for best song titles. Even more topics than I can keep listing so just listen to it already. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE. Check out the Ol' Patreon for Patron Only Content!
August 24th, 2018 | 1 hr 38 mins
incels, jeopardy, joe pesci, last tango in paris, martin scorsese, opie and anthony, pro wrestling, star wars, the lion king
Scott Monahan drops by and spews his knowledge about. Guinea John reads about Incels. Bruce quotes "Last Tango in Paris" for us. We discuss Pro Wrestling, Joe Pesci, Martin Scorsese's career, The Lion King, Star Wars, Opie and Anthony. We talk about the worst movies we've ever seen and tell some awful, tasteless jokes. You guys are gonna love it! Download, Like, Share and Subscribe. GET ON THAT PATREON DAWG!
July 24th, 2018 | 1 hr 30 mins
atook the eskimo, baseball movies, chris farley, comedy, cynic, cynic route, fart, field of dreams, goldie hawn, john belushi, john candy, kurt russell, mike tyson, my cousin vinny, o.j. simpson, overboard, phil hartman, wrestling
Lucky No. 13 leaves no stones unturned and no laughs unheard. We discuss the horrible movie "Overboard," reminisce about wrestling, Mike Tyson, and O.J. Simpson. Guinea John stereotypically brings up "My Cousin Vinny" and Bruce brings up a list of the greatest baseball movies of all time. We look into the cursed script of "Atook the Eskimo," share the best methods for hiding a fart, and for those of you hardcore enough to make it to the end, we sneak in another public poo story. Download, Like, Share and SUBSCRIBE.
July 11th, 2018 | 1 hr 43 mins
2001: a space odyssey, best boobs, bobcat goldthwait, comedy, cynic route, easter, full house, gallagher, jury duty, masn, poop, poop stories, redd foxx, stephen king, video rental
Welcome to another fun-filled episode. Our guest, Polock Johnny shares some new poop stories. Guinea John rants about the Full House Hydra and MASN, once again. Bruce reminisces about his days working at the video store. We talk Easter, old school comedians, best tit shots of 80's film, Stephen King, and Redd Foxx stops in to share some of his best one-liners. Be Kind, Rewind.
June 25th, 2018 | 1 hr 33 mins
9/11, antibiotics, celebrity net worths, drones, flying, lawnmower man, nancy kerrigan, pissing on animals, robo-bees, sam kinison, september 11th, tonya harding, words that sound racist
This one is a grower not a shower. We kick it off with some travel talk which evolves into air disasters and naturally, 9/11. Robo-bees, drones, Lawnmower Man, and words that sound racist all make appearances in Episode 11. Sam Kinison, Antibiotics, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, celebrity net worths, Bruce's deep desire to piss on animals, this episode has it all! Download, Like and Share, Taking the Cynic Route. Check out our Patreon for secret shows. Subscribe to any of our social media accounts, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
June 5th, 2018 | 1 hr 20 mins
bananas, catcher in the rye, crank calls, genesis, john hinckley, mark david chapman, news, phil collins, prank calls, pranks
We answer our first fan email from our first Patron! Sean asks about our opinion of Genesis, the plight of the banana and our other favorite podcasts. Guinea John asks if the news "spectrum" is purposefully dividing the people. We reminisce about our best prank calls, whether or not "Catcher in the Rye" creates hitmen, and for $5K Guinea John will give you a show to remember via Skype. Pony up that dough, Download, Like and Share.
May 22nd, 2018 | 1 hr 33 mins
billy jack, celebrity net worth, cleveland, comedy, cynic, cynic route, power outage, robert zemeckis, saint dominique, square dancing, steven spielberg, technology, wind storm
In this episode we tap into the very wide shallow well of our intellects. We go from Cleveland talk, celebrity net worths, and then somehow to the origins of square dancing in gym class. We go over a list of the whitest white people things, touch on some Spielberg and Zemeckis films, and look at an obscene statue of St. Dominique in Australia. We reminisce about wind storms in the area, bitch about losing power, Guinea John declares his love for Billy Jack, and Bruce tells us why technology is making us dumber. So Download, get dumberer, Like and Share.
May 7th, 2018 | 1 hr 19 mins
berenstain bears, comedy, cynic, cynic route, daca, dreamers, ed mcmahon, gun rights, guns, immigration, lowes, mandella effect, mass shooting, poop
We have our first in studio guest, Polock Johnny. We start off with some poo stories and then we get poo-litical. We talk immigration, mass shootings, gun rights, and top it all off with the Mandella Effect. Do YOU remember the sweepstakes company Ed McMahon worked for? I bet you don't...Download, Like, and Share.
April 16th, 2018 | 1 hr 18 mins
90's, black panther, comedy, cynic, dunkin donuts, hootie, mcdlt, mcdonald's, service animal, vape
Vacation over. Back to our cynical selves in episode 7. We discuss everything from an old racist encyclopedia to service animals. Bruce goes over a terrible"90's" list, we reminisce about past McDonald's menu items and Guinea John gives us his best Chris Rock. Download, Like, and Share.
April 1st, 2018 | 1 hr 22 mins
comedy, cynic, motorcycle, pet peeves, podcasting, profanity, protests, telemarketing
We go over a Podcast Pet Peeve list and then go into our very own pet peeves. Guinea John hates loud motorcycles, Bruce hates telemarketers, and Jeff hates protests. But we all love a good AC song. wink
March 18th, 2018 | 1 hr 25 mins
2008, comedy, cynic, cynic route, driving, driving pet peeves, legalization, marijuana, traffic
We talk a lot about driving in this one. We look at a traffic pet peeves list, we discuss legalizing ganja, and reminisce about the terrible year, 2008. Buckle up because things get bumpy on the PA Turnpike.
March 8th, 2018 | 55 mins 18 secs
9/11, assassination, australia, comedy, competitive eating, cynic, cynic route, exorcism, patriots
On this episode we take an Australian slang quiz, watch an exorcism video, we talk about competitive eating, we link 9/11 to the New England Patriots, and Guinea John questions historical assassinations. Go ahead, give it a listen...
February 26th, 2018 | 1 hr 14 mins
bananas, comedy, cynic, dukes of hazard, full house, kevin spacey, kiss, louis ck, potassium, route, uncle jesse
On this episode we discuss how KISS is garbage, how Dukes of Hazard Uncle Jesse is superior to Full House Uncle Jesse, eating healthy and how we know nothing about potassium, the end of Kevin Spacey, and Pulp Fiction vs Reservoir Dogs.
February 22nd, 2018 | 1 hr 29 secs
3d, balls, bon jovi, colonoscopy, comedy, cynic, drive-in, movie, route
We discuss the vulnerabilities of balls, Bruce's trip to the 3D movie marathon, Guinea John's deep seeded hatred for Bon Jovi, and Jeff's colonoscopy. Yum, who wants dessert?
February 22nd, 2018 | 1 hr 23 mins
cirque du soleil, comedy, cynic, fantasy, italian, poop, raspberry, route, sci fi
We discuss personal poop stories, cirque du soleil, the origins of raspberry flavoring, italian stereotypes, sci fi versus fantasy, and we get way too personal with some butt health.