Taking the Cynic Route

Where Raunchy Wit and Nostalgia meet Bootleg Intellect.

About the show

Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh.

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  • Episode 52: I Seent Pyutin Ridin' a UFO in Dundalk, Hon.

    March 24th, 2022  |  2 hrs 59 mins
    all in the family, archie bunker, argentina, bernie sanders, billy joel, blind melon, bob saget, cheap trick, christmas music, cnn, dan carlin, dave grohl, dionne warwick, dundalk, elections, foo fighters, fox, george w. bush, hardcore history, hunter biden, jackie gleason, jfk, joe rogan, joy behar, kanye west, lbj, marjorie taylor greene, meatloaf, napoleon, nasa, nazis, npr, nukes, ny post, oliver stone, paul mccartney, pete davidson, putin, ravens, red dawn, richard nixon, squeeze, starship, state of the union, studio 666, taiwan, the view, toto, ufo, ukraine, ussr, watergate, whoopi goldberg, worst songs of all-time, yeezy, zelenskyy

    With a war glooming around the corner and the potential for chaos at every step, why not lighten the mood with some dick jokes and fart sounds? A trio of Jeff, Scott, and the Beer Can share tales of the past while analyzing the present. From Ukraine to Richard Nixon, from NASA Nazis to the un-cancellable Joe Rogan, we tackle all topics while getting hammered on Founder's Backyard Bastard. The State of the Union is strong, but our tolerance for political nonsense and craft beer is stronger. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE!

  • Episode 51: The Most Epic Podcast of All Time

    February 28th, 2022  |  2 hrs 49 mins
    amc, ancestry, aoc, at&t, beetlejuice, blue jeans, bruce, bukowski, chris benoit, crypto, danny devito, dave portnoy, dna, eddie murphy, fritz haber, gabriel brothers, get back, ikea, ilhan omar, jake gyllenhaal, jfk, juneteenth, moon gang, ned beatty, nick nolte, paul newman, sam adams, sparks, the squad, wawa, world war 2, zagnut

    Resurrected from the depths of the dank basement, the gang is back. TTCR 2.0 is here with an episode that doesn't pull any punches. We finally see the results of Guinea John's ancestry DNA test, Beer Can Bill shares his love for the "Squad", and Scott figures out why GJ is obsessed with penis. A surprise guest breaks into the studio while recording and everyone thinks they are going to be murdered. So grab a ZagNut, cut your favorite pair of jeans at the waistband, and listen to this glorious episode of Taking the Cynic Route.

  • Episode 50: Mrs. McMahon, You're Trying to Seduce Me.

    June 1st, 2021  |  2 hrs 30 mins
    98 rock, arnold schwarzenegger, ben askren, billy mays, caitlin jenner, dave navarro, derek chauvin, devil's backbone vienna lager, eastpoint mall, fabulous mullah, florida, floyd mayweather, gary bussey, george carlin, greg valentine, harford mall, jake paul, jimmy carter, kamala harris, kirk mcewan, lebron james, lenin, logan paul, matt hughes, mickey cucchiella, mike lindell, mike piazza, monster ballads, nfl draft, orlando, spirit airlines, stalin, the oscars, the sixties, ufc, universal studios, vaccines, vince mcmahon, woodrow wilson, wwe

    Another powerhouse of an episode for our Golden 50th. We showered down knowledge and witty judgmental insight on your candy axes. No one in Hollywood or Washington D.C. was safe during this audio odyssey. We crap on people locally, nationally, and globally because the trio does not believe in discrimination. The Beer Can tells of his latest swinging experience with the misses while Scott fills us in on why Vince McMahon is the Genetic Jackhammer. We discuss the extinction of malls, Jeff's recent vacation to Florida and once again, the worst US presidents of all time. Woodrow Wilson is the Lebron James of terrible presidents. DOWNLOAD, SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, SHARE!!

  • Episode 49: Looking at the World Through a Bunghole

    April 14th, 2021  |  3 hrs 34 mins
    babe ruth, bar stool sports, bill hicks, charles barkley, charles manson, conrad murray, dave portnoy, derrick chauvin, don rickles, donald trump, elon musk, elvis presley, georgia, howard stern, immigration, jim breuer, jimi hendrix, joe biden, joe rogan, jre, matt gaetz, michael jackson, michael rappaport, mlb all star game, nikola tesla, o.j. simpson, paul mccartney, stuttering john, tucker carlson, us presidents, voter reform

    Another strong episode in the books for the trio at the octagon. Guinea Juan graces us with his presence for number 49, along with those Sicilian rants we all know and love. The Beer Can is in rare form as we pick apart Matt Gaetz, voter reform in Georgia, and corruption in Baltimore City. We go around the table and ask what three people, living or dead, we'd like to have over for dinner. Guinea Juan craps all over Tucker Carlson while BCB explains his hatred for Stuttering John from the Stern Show. This podcast is a wild ride and you'll get off confused, slightly nauseous, and strangely wanting more. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARRRREEEEE!!!!!!

  • Episode 48: AOL and Pro Wrestling Porn: The Making of a Generation

    March 28th, 2021  |  2 hrs 54 mins
    andre the giant, belts, butch reed, covid, cuomo, donald trump, duane johnson, greg "the hammer" valentine, horror movies, hulk hogan, james earl ray, jimmy hart, joe biden, looney tunes, louis ck, martin luther king jr., michael d. higgins, michael jackson, mlk, nfl, owen hart, politics, racism, rick rude, teachers, the rock, top 50 selling artists, wrestling

    The gang is back at the table. Scott is in studio with the Beer Can and the debauchery ensues. With a quick dip in the poo-litical cess pool, the conversation quickly gets hijacked by a walk down professional wrestling's memory lane. And then we dive right back into the dumpster fire that is politics. This show is like a fart in the wind, the stench knows no direction. We talk about the illusion of choice, the top 50 selling artists of all time, and Owen Hart's tragic ending. What more could you ask for? DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!

  • Episode 47: Romancing the Trailer Park

    February 22nd, 2021  |  3 hrs 32 mins
    baltimore orioles, bias, capitol, carol king, cleveland indians, dionne warwick, donald j trump, impeachment, jay z, larry king, legalization, losing virginity, mary j blige, media, morgan wallen, ohio, psychics, re-elect no one, rock and roll hof, rusty kuntz, shimp, tina turner, trailers, treasures, trey mancini, usps, violence

    The boys bring it back to the studio and whip up another tantalizing talk of twisted topics. Guinea Juan shares his most recent treasures from his father's house of awesomeness while Beer Can Billy tells a tale of the stinkiest stogie this side of Dundalk. We cover politics, sports, music, the human experience of life in a trailer park. We do our annual critique of this year's "Rock and Roll" HOF nominees and find out that the Beer Can is a huge Dionne Warwick fan, who knew? Do yourself a favor, crack open a Founder's Backwoods Bastard, listen to this episode and forget about your troubles while we discuss our troubles. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE SHARE!

  • Episode 46: The Tenthion of Oppothith in the Univerth

    January 29th, 2021  |  3 hrs 2 mins
    alex trebek, barry glassman, beastie boys, boulevard brewing, donald trump, hillary clinton, home improvements, james comey, joe biden, john podesta, legalizing drugs, mike tyson, nancy pelosi, oregon, right vs left, rolling stone top 50 albums, roy jones jr., sean connery, seattle, ufc, washington, wikileaks

    Oh how time flies. It's been a while since you've heard the boys around the octagon so here we are. Like a fine wine, we're fruity and will stain your blouse. Guinea Juan is in the studio, at least most of him, bringing that West Coast charm while Beer Can Billy counters with his best East Coast meathead. An epic tale of the tape.

  • Episode 45: The Coup and You: The Truth Behind 9/11, Fred Durst, and the 2001 VMA's

    October 22nd, 2020  |  3 hrs 53 secs
    2001 mtv vmas, 9/11, album releases, austin, baseball, buying shoes, chester bennington, children of the corn, china, covid, crapping your pants, debate, dick tracy, dream theater, economy, false flags, fred durst, gift giving, hershey's yuengling, jerry nadler, joe biden, joe rogan, john podesta, kerry von erich, lantern flies, linda hamilton, masks, mlb, new jersey, nfl, party music, poop, pro wrestling, rick moranis, rob ford, sarah huckabee sanders, sports, staind, stephen king, stink bugs, texas, the coup, the world trade center, trump, truth or dare, yard sales

    LEGENDARY! The Trio Nuevo strikes again with Jeff, Beer Can, and Scott makin' the magic happen for episode 45B (details inside). From Presidential COVID to doom and gloom come winter time. From "Truth or Dare" gone wrong to crapping your pants while trippin'. From prophetic album covers released on 9/11 to deep throatin' McDonald's soft serve. We have a little something for everyone. Beer Can Billy is still handing out fake scratch-offs and Sarah Huckabee Sanders is still killin' our boners. If this isn't the best thing you've listened to all week then John Podesta isn't the father of Chester Bennington. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.

  • Episode 44: The Greatest Car Wreck in History

    August 29th, 2020  |  3 hrs 42 mins
    adrenochrome, aliens, amish, bam margera, beirut, ben shapiro, bill clinton, bob odenkirk, cardi-b, comedy, commentaries, cynic route, david cross, donald trump, elon musk, george soros, ghislaine maxwell, gordon ramsay, hart, jeffrey epstein, jfk assassination, joe biden, kamala harris, kennedy, kitchen nightmares, koch brothers, michelle obama, mr.show, ocean city md, october surprise, old habits, satire, smash mouth, snl, stanley kubrick, summer love golden ale, susan rice, tom hanks, twister, victory brewery, vince mcmahon, von erich, wap, war of 1812, ween, william barr, woodstock 99, wwe

    Like a fine bagged wine, we take a chug and slap this one on the pouch. Another phenomenal episode of TTCR in the archive thanks to our special poo-litical pundit and comrade, Scott. Jeff and Beer Can Billy sit back and listen to the plethora of knowledge, ranging from U.S. Presidents to Professional Wrestlers, and those that overlap.

    We figure out the possible scenarios for the 2020 election, take a mini dive into the Adrenochrome /Epstein/Elite Pedophile ring conspiracy, and we jam out with our clams out to Ben Shapiro's favorite summer hit by Cardi B, WAP.
    The October Surprise is coming whether you like it or not , so you why not download this episode, grab a Victory Summer Love Ale, and listen to us solve the JFK assassination right before listing our favorite SNL cast members. You know who downloads this Podcast?...Your Mom. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!

  • Episode 43: BREAKING NEWS: Cuomo F*CK$!

    June 18th, 2020  |  3 hrs 42 mins
    2112, abraham lincoln, brian posehn, cheech and chong, chris cuomo, cnn, conor mcgregor, coronavirus, covid-19, donald trump, driving hand signals, fauci, george floyd, gettysburg, great lakes brewery, jane miller, jfk, jimmy buffett, john lennon, kevin costner, kobe bryant, neil peart, omar vasquez, porter, proper 12, rush, sally thorner, salt n pepa, sarah silverman, sophomore slump, squirting, terry owens, twitter, up in smoke, wbal, white privilege, wuhan lab, yoko ono

    The world is falling apart and we are watching with a Great Lakes Porter in one hand and our pud in the other. Guinea Juan is live in studio once again and brings the heat. We cover all of society's problems, solve them, and then tell dick jokes for three hours. Just another day in the office.
    We tackle hard hitting issues like racism, white privilege, squirting, hand signals for driving...all of the important stuff. Honestly, at this point we should be categorized as a self help podcast. Do yourself a favor and listen now, before they ASSUME CONTROL. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.

  • Episode 42: The Choad, the Chore, and the Chi-Chi-Chi-Chief-a

    June 1st, 2020  |  3 hrs 17 mins
    allman brothers, american amber ale, barack obama, bell's brewery, billy joel, black crowes, chia pet, chris cornell, conor mcgregor, dave grohl, eggs, elton john, eric clapton, hillary clinton, hypnotize, jesus christ, joe biden, john lennon, julian lennon, le'veon bell, monica lewinsky, neil young, notorious big, pearl jam, proper 12, ram 1500, sean lennon, september 11th, sopranos, soundgarden, term limits, underoos, yoko ono, zeitgeist

    The Guinea's back in TOWN! Jeff and Beer Can Billy welcome back John, in person, at the octagon. Bringin' the RUCKUS to that ASS. We cover all of life's nuance from buying a new vehicle, to near death experiences, to the best concerts we ever attended. BCB brought his bag of hate, Jeff puts on the tin foil hat for 9/11 talk, and Guinea Juan sings about his choad. We get a little poo-litical with Joe Biden's Breakfast Club gaff and discuss waiting in between "nuts". Hours of nonsense to get you through your grind and make you question how you're spending your time. Ya better put on a clean pair of Underoos. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!

  • Episode 41: What Would You Do-oo-oo for a Klondike Bar...in the Butt?

    May 19th, 2020  |  3 hrs 41 mins
    ahmad arbury, alex jones, baltimore ravens, boulevard brewing, coronavirus, covid-19, ed mcmahon, foo fighters, guns n roses, joe biden, joe exotic, john stewart, kim jong un, larry hogan, led zeppelin, legal weed, liam gallagher, michael imperioli, michelle obama, million dollar man, murder hornets, noel gallagher, nursing homes, oasis, paul mccartney, pink floyd, plaid habit, raise some cain, seth meyers, stephen colbert, sue simmons, tara reid, ted, ted dibiase, the beatles, the daily show, the sopranos, the who, tiger king, wally world, washington d.c., ween

    The gang is back for another raucous round of bull slingin' banter. Beer Can Billy throws caution to the wind and jumps back in the octagon while Guinea Juan joins us online. Bruce's whereabouts are still unknown for those keeping score at home.
    We discuss our new daily routines and lifting the lockdown here in Maryland. Some strong opinions of Larry "The Hog" Hogan are shared in between Soprano's quotes and Pro Wrestling memories. Some interesting Youtube videos ask the hard hitting questions like, "Does Michelle Obama have a Dong?" and "Is Sue Simmons gonna have to Slap a Bitch?"
    We talk about family histories, ancestors, and weird Uncles in the basement. There's too many topics to go on about and too much legal weed to remember them all. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.

  • Episode 40: A Guinea in the Garage is Worth Two Jackin' Off in the Bush

    April 30th, 2020  |  2 hrs 58 mins
    baltimore, baseball, bill o'reilly, coronavirus, covid-19, fake news, heather mills, hot open mic, italian food, jim norton, kavanaugh, kyle larson, media, miscarriage, nirvana, opie and anthony, orioles, papa roach, paul mccartney, politics, pro wrestling, protests, puddle of mudd, ravens, serial masturbater, shinedown, sopranos, susan collins, tony soprano, uncle junior, white house

    Another quarantined episode in the book. Sad to see a milestone like number 40 being done streamed with one guy at the octagon, one guy fumbling with his mic from his basement 5 miles away, and one guy from his garage/cavern 3,000 miles away. But we made it work. In fact, we made up for the garbage sound quality with the quality of our content. Just kidding. No intro, just three hours of the route that is cynic. We gots deadlines to keeps. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.

  • Episode 39: Driving Miss Handy: A Quarantine Extravaganza

    April 23rd, 2020  |  4 hrs 5 mins
    abbey road, ac/dc, airlines, appetite for destruction, baltimore, beer, bon scott, boston, brian johnson, bruce springsteen, conspiracies, coors light, coronavirus, covid-19, david lee roth, def leppard, divorce, drinking, foo fighters, green day, guns-n-roses, hairy nipples, howard stern, jameson, kiss, kurt cobain, lesbians, marriage, motley crue, nirvana, orioles, pandemic, parasite, pearl jam, pink floyd, pranks, quarantine, queen, quiet riot, ravens, record albums, rolling stones, sex talk, ten, the beatles, the wall, travel, van halen, whiskey, zoom

    The only thing the world needed more than a global pandemic was a four hour long episode of this hot garbage. But here it is, for your ear's delight. Jeff mans the octagon while Beer Can Billy and Guinea John connect via the internets. We go deep into the history of both the Guinea and BCB, where no stone is left unturned. We reminisce about old Howard Stern episodes, our past musical performances, and some classic sports memories. BCB gives us a quaran-tour of his basement and record collection. We talk COVID-19 conspiracies, our hairiest past sexual experiences, and we crap all over Bruce since he was the one who didn't show up this time. Sprinkle in a "Driving Miss Daisy" style handy and some casual racism and I think we have ourselves a show. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.

  • Episode 38: Charlies Sheen's Coronavirus Covered Crisco Can

    March 25th, 2020  |  2 hrs 32 mins
    andy harris, beer review, bernie goetz, billy squire, boyd tinsley, charlie sheen, chyna, corey feldman, corey haim, crisco, dave matthews band, donald trump, founders, frank sinatra, impractical jokers, joe biden, john lithgow, kbs, mayo a. shattuck iii, mia farrow, mike gordon, molly shattuck, norm macdonald, opie and anthony, pamela anderson, pat monahan, phish, pro-wrestling, robert loggia, roger ailes, ronan farrow, sable, the view, train, vince mcmahon, wcw, woody allen, wwe, xfl

    Hellooo fellow degenerates. The Trio welcomes back the brilliant, the hilarious, the deranged Scotty Monahan. After reviewing a new beer we go straight into the poo-litical talk where Scotty drops some knowledge. The coronavirus is taking over the world but that isn't stopping Beer Can Billy from getting his drink on or Bruce from defending Woody Allen to the bitter end. We discuss Pro-wrestling, Opie and Anthony, and that Raven's cheerleader who banged her son's friend. Corey Feldman's latest craziness creeps into the conversation along with Sleepy Joe Biden, Scott's famous Uncle Pat, and Billy Squire dancing like Guinea John at home alone on a Friday night. So many topics, so few characters allowed for description. Stay safe, keep your distance and never accept a scratch off from Beer Can Billy. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!

  • Episode 37: Polack Johnny Created the Coronavirus in the Back of a Spencer's Gifts

    March 9th, 2020  |  2 hrs 15 mins
    anquan boldin, artie lange, atlantic star, bad break-ups, baltimore, baltimore ravens, beer review, berry gordy, catherine pugh, coronavirus, derrick mason, dolemite, ed reed, eddie murphy, first jobs, founders, goo goo dolls, grandma, lou ferrigno, mark normand, martin scorsese, masturbation, mayor, meet and greet, mike tyson, pranks, robert deniro, scratch offs, secret lovers, spencer's gifts, the irishman, trailer parks

    The new trio welcomes Polack Johnny for some tales of the tail. We share fond(led) memories of Grandma's trailer. Beer Can Billy brings up some more past hijinks and heads our first live beer review. We discuss former Baltimore mayor and cartoon turtle, Catherine Pugh, Atlantic Star's "smash" hit "Secret Lovers," and still the baddest mofo on the planet, Mike Tyson. We reminisce about our first jobs, our first sexual experiences, and garbage celebrity "meet & greets." This one gets off the rails fast so climb aboard the train of terror. Listen now, before the Coronavirus takes your hearing. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!