Taking the Cynic Route
Where Raunchy Wit and Nostalgia meet Bootleg Intellect.
About the show
Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh.
Taking the Cynic Route on social media
Episodes
-
Episode 20: A Dash of Ripple in Your Taster's Choice?
December 18th, 2018 | 1 hr 45 mins
chris rock, christmas, comedy, cynic, cynic route, farts, finger sniffer, geico, george h.w. bush, harold and maude, hemorrhoids, howard stern, hugh hefner, immigration, jewish conspiracy, jimmy carter, louis armstrong, melania trump, monolith, risk, scars, smart phone, taxidermy, time machines
HAPPY HOLE-A-DAYS! On this joyous episode we discuss Bruce's holiday visitor, Guinea John's butt trumpet, and Hugh Hefner's buried porn treasure. "Chris Rock" stops by, we try out a few new segments, and reminisce about smell-a-vision. There's dookie in the coffee can, immigrants with facial scars, and GEICO is trying to give you a hard-on for insurance. Welcome to the wonderful world of TTCR. Download. Like. Subscribe. Share.
-
Episode 19: Happiness is a Warm Pun, Stephen...
December 3rd, 2018 | 1 hr 29 mins
baseball, comedy, cynic, donald trump, james brady, john hinckley, john lennon, kavanaugh, liza minnelli, louis ck, mlb, podcast, ronald reagan, rusty kuntz, star wars, stephen king, susan collins, ttcr
On this mini masterpiece we touch a little bit of everything. From politics to baseball and Louis CK to the Star Wars Xmas special. We even dive into a conspiracy theory pinning John Lennon's murder on world famous author Stephen King. Honestly, there is just too much nonsensical hilarity to list so you might as well just download and listen.
-
Episode 18: Aromafappathy and the Sticky Cosmos
November 15th, 2018 | 1 hr 54 mins
80's films, 90's music, advertising, comedy, cosmopolitan, cynic, cynical, elvis karate, eric clapton, farts, funny, hawaiian volcano, john hughes movies, john wayne, mother's day, mumble rap, north korea, poop, porno, reservoir dogs, sir mix-a-lot, snl, thanksgiving
On this special episode (18) the TTCR gang welcomes back Scott Monahan to the studio. We dive into Mother's Day advertising, top songs/bands of the early 90's and different things we used for inspiration during adolescent "alone" time. A few awful Eric Clapton jokes, a discussion about John Wayne's poo and a heaping helping of 80's/90's movie discussions and you have yourself one helluva meal. LIKE, DOWNLOAD, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE. PS - Sir Mix-A-Lot > Mumble Rap
-
Episode 17: What If Larry King Hadn't Been Aborted?
November 8th, 2018 | 1 hr 31 mins
#hashtag, abortion, apocalypse now, car trouble, charlie sheen, diane keaton, genitalia, glow, hashtag, larry king, martin sheen, mr. goodbar, platoon, ringo, roe v. wade, the banana splits, the godfather, the wire, thomas edison, vietnam, washington d.c.
This one is a humdinger of a good time. Dust off the ol' dick depot because we are talking TV shows then and now. The Banana Splits, The Wire, and GLOW to name a few. Guinea John explains his hatred for both Larry King and Thomas Edison. Bruce explains how hashtags work. Lots of discussion about abortion and Roe v. Wade which then evolves into us just listing euphemisms for genitalia. Diane Keaton drops by with a few lines from The Godfather and we discuss our favorite Vietnam War movies. I love the smell of roast beef in morning. Download, Like, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE!
-
Episode 16: Three Shots from the Book Suppository
October 16th, 2018 | 1 hr 28 mins
airports, billy crudup, book depository, christopher walken, cocktails, dallas, fabulous thunderbirds, flying, grassy knoll, jackie kennedy, john f. kennedy, lee harvey oswald, lyndon johnson, magic bullet, orioles, robert de niro, russian roulette, texas, the deer hunter, the jfk assassination
We dive deep into the mayhem on this one. Guinea John had just returned from a trip to Dallas which led to some discussions on flying, the JFK assassination, and another impersonation of Sam Kinison. Bruce leads another movie tangent ranging from Cocktails to The Deer Hunter and we reminisce about some celebrity crackpots. The Orioles still suck, the Fabulous Thunderbirds are still Tuff Enuff and the Mad Pooper is still at large. Taking the Cynic Route is like a box of Chocolates, fat people love us. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE!
-
Episode 15: Blowfly, Don't Bother Soon-Yi
September 10th, 2018 | 2 hrs 5 mins
baseball, blowfly, chris davis, kaepernick, metoo, morgan freeman, nofx, orioles, roseanne barr, social media, televangelist private jet, tim tebow, woody allen
We welcome Beer Can Billy into the studio to share stories and opinions in that sweet, thick, terribly authentic Baltimore accent. We talked about gross people in public, Orioles baseball, and social media's impact on public opinion. We talked about the scandals of the day which were Rosanne Barr, NoFx singer's "off color" quote, and a wealthy televangelist who needs a 4th private jet. Bruce defends Woody Allen to the bitter end and Blowfly and An@l C%t compete for best song titles. Even more topics than I can keep listing so just listen to it already. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE. Check out the Ol' Patreon for Patron Only Content!
-
Episode 14: Robert De Niro gave my Koala the Clap
August 24th, 2018 | 1 hr 38 mins
incels, jeopardy, joe pesci, last tango in paris, martin scorsese, opie and anthony, pro wrestling, star wars, the lion king
Scott Monahan drops by and spews his knowledge about. Guinea John reads about Incels. Bruce quotes "Last Tango in Paris" for us. We discuss Pro Wrestling, Joe Pesci, Martin Scorsese's career, The Lion King, Star Wars, Opie and Anthony. We talk about the worst movies we've ever seen and tell some awful, tasteless jokes. You guys are gonna love it! Download, Like, Share and Subscribe. GET ON THAT PATREON DAWG!
-
Episode 13: If You Build It, I will Come...
July 24th, 2018 | 1 hr 30 mins
atook the eskimo, baseball movies, chris farley, comedy, cynic, cynic route, fart, field of dreams, goldie hawn, john belushi, john candy, kurt russell, mike tyson, my cousin vinny, o.j. simpson, overboard, phil hartman, wrestling
Lucky No. 13 leaves no stones unturned and no laughs unheard. We discuss the horrible movie "Overboard," reminisce about wrestling, Mike Tyson, and O.J. Simpson. Guinea John stereotypically brings up "My Cousin Vinny" and Bruce brings up a list of the greatest baseball movies of all time. We look into the cursed script of "Atook the Eskimo," share the best methods for hiding a fart, and for those of you hardcore enough to make it to the end, we sneak in another public poo story. Download, Like, Share and SUBSCRIBE.
www.takingthecynicroute.com -
Episode 12: Snatchin' Watches and Cloggin' Toilets
July 11th, 2018 | 1 hr 43 mins
2001: a space odyssey, best boobs, bobcat goldthwait, comedy, cynic route, easter, full house, gallagher, jury duty, masn, poop, poop stories, redd foxx, stephen king, video rental
Welcome to another fun-filled episode. Our guest, Polock Johnny shares some new poop stories. Guinea John rants about the Full House Hydra and MASN, once again. Bruce reminisces about his days working at the video store. We talk Easter, old school comedians, best tit shots of 80's film, Stephen King, and Redd Foxx stops in to share some of his best one-liners. Be Kind, Rewind.
-
Episode 11: Harding/Kerrigan: When Taking a Knee Meant Something
June 25th, 2018 | 1 hr 33 mins
9/11, antibiotics, celebrity net worths, drones, flying, lawnmower man, nancy kerrigan, pissing on animals, robo-bees, sam kinison, september 11th, tonya harding, words that sound racist
This one is a grower not a shower. We kick it off with some travel talk which evolves into air disasters and naturally, 9/11. Robo-bees, drones, Lawnmower Man, and words that sound racist all make appearances in Episode 11. Sam Kinison, Antibiotics, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, celebrity net worths, Bruce's deep desire to piss on animals, this episode has it all! Download, Like and Share, Taking the Cynic Route. Check out our Patreon for secret shows. Subscribe to any of our social media accounts, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
www.takingthecynicroute.com -
Episode 10: Mr.Collins, Is That a Banana in Your Pocket?
June 5th, 2018 | 1 hr 20 mins
bananas, catcher in the rye, crank calls, genesis, john hinckley, mark david chapman, news, phil collins, prank calls, pranks
We answer our first fan email from our first Patron! Sean asks about our opinion of Genesis, the plight of the banana and our other favorite podcasts. Guinea John asks if the news "spectrum" is purposefully dividing the people. We reminisce about our best prank calls, whether or not "Catcher in the Rye" creates hitmen, and for $5K Guinea John will give you a show to remember via Skype. Pony up that dough, Download, Like and Share.
-
Episode 9: Square Dancing in the Dark
May 22nd, 2018 | 1 hr 33 mins
billy jack, celebrity net worth, cleveland, comedy, cynic, cynic route, power outage, robert zemeckis, saint dominique, square dancing, steven spielberg, technology, wind storm
In this episode we tap into the very wide shallow well of our intellects. We go from Cleveland talk, celebrity net worths, and then somehow to the origins of square dancing in gym class. We go over a list of the whitest white people things, touch on some Spielberg and Zemeckis films, and look at an obscene statue of St. Dominique in Australia. We reminisce about wind storms in the area, bitch about losing power, Guinea John declares his love for Billy Jack, and Bruce tells us why technology is making us dumber. So Download, get dumberer, Like and Share.
-
Episode 8: Let's Get Poo-litical
May 7th, 2018 | 1 hr 19 mins
berenstain bears, comedy, cynic, cynic route, daca, dreamers, ed mcmahon, gun rights, guns, immigration, lowes, mandella effect, mass shooting, poop
We have our first in studio guest, Polock Johnny. We start off with some poo stories and then we get poo-litical. We talk immigration, mass shootings, gun rights, and top it all off with the Mandella Effect. Do YOU remember the sweepstakes company Ed McMahon worked for? I bet you don't...Download, Like, and Share.
-
Episode 7: Supersize My McDLT
April 16th, 2018 | 1 hr 18 mins
90's, black panther, comedy, cynic, dunkin donuts, hootie, mcdlt, mcdonald's, service animal, vape
Vacation over. Back to our cynical selves in episode 7. We discuss everything from an old racist encyclopedia to service animals. Bruce goes over a terrible"90's" list, we reminisce about past McDonald's menu items and Guinea John gives us his best Chris Rock. Download, Like, and Share.
-
Episode 6: Your Podcast is Gay
April 1st, 2018 | 1 hr 22 mins
comedy, cynic, motorcycle, pet peeves, podcasting, profanity, protests, telemarketing
We go over a Podcast Pet Peeve list and then go into our very own pet peeves. Guinea John hates loud motorcycles, Bruce hates telemarketers, and Jeff hates protests. But we all love a good AC song. wink
-
Episode 5: Tales of the Pennsylvania Turdpike
March 18th, 2018 | 1 hr 25 mins
2008, comedy, cynic, cynic route, driving, driving pet peeves, legalization, marijuana, traffic
We talk a lot about driving in this one. We look at a traffic pet peeves list, we discuss legalizing ganja, and reminisce about the terrible year, 2008. Buckle up because things get bumpy on the PA Turnpike.