Taking the Cynic Route

Where Raunchy Wit and Nostalgia meet Bootleg Intellect.

About the show

Three average Joes from Baltimore, MD sharing humorous stories and opinions with a flare for the crude, low brow, and sometimes even dark. By reflecting on their own personal histories, pop culture potluck, conspiracy theories and other wacky topics, these guys will make you laugh and maybe even think. But mostly laugh.

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  • Episode 13: If You Build It, I will Come...

    July 24th, 2018  |  1 hr 30 mins
    atook the eskimo, baseball movies, chris farley, comedy, cynic, cynic route, fart, field of dreams, goldie hawn, john belushi, john candy, kurt russell, mike tyson, my cousin vinny, o.j. simpson, overboard, phil hartman, wrestling

    Lucky No. 13 leaves no stones unturned and no laughs unheard. We discuss the horrible movie "Overboard," reminisce about wrestling, Mike Tyson, and O.J. Simpson. Guinea John stereotypically brings up "My Cousin Vinny" and Bruce brings up a list of the greatest baseball movies of all time. We look into the cursed script of "Atook the Eskimo," share the best methods for hiding a fart, and for those of you hardcore enough to make it to the end, we sneak in another public poo story. Download, Like, Share and SUBSCRIBE.

  • Episode 12: Snatchin' Watches and Cloggin' Toilets

    July 11th, 2018  |  1 hr 43 mins
    2001: a space odyssey, best boobs, bobcat goldthwait, comedy, cynic route, easter, full house, gallagher, jury duty, masn, poop, poop stories, redd foxx, stephen king, video rental

    Welcome to another fun-filled episode. Our guest, Polock Johnny shares some new poop stories. Guinea John rants about the Full House Hydra and MASN, once again. Bruce reminisces about his days working at the video store. We talk Easter, old school comedians, best tit shots of 80's film, Stephen King, and Redd Foxx stops in to share some of his best one-liners. Be Kind, Rewind.

  • Episode 11: Harding/Kerrigan: When Taking a Knee Meant Something

    June 25th, 2018  |  1 hr 33 mins
    9/11, antibiotics, celebrity net worths, drones, flying, lawnmower man, nancy kerrigan, pissing on animals, robo-bees, sam kinison, september 11th, tonya harding, words that sound racist

    This one is a grower not a shower. We kick it off with some travel talk which evolves into air disasters and naturally, 9/11. Robo-bees, drones, Lawnmower Man, and words that sound racist all make appearances in Episode 11. Sam Kinison, Antibiotics, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, celebrity net worths, Bruce's deep desire to piss on animals, this episode has it all! Download, Like and Share, Taking the Cynic Route. Check out our Patreon for secret shows. Subscribe to any of our social media accounts, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

  • Episode 10: Mr.Collins, Is That a Banana in Your Pocket?

    June 5th, 2018  |  1 hr 20 mins
    bananas, catcher in the rye, crank calls, genesis, john hinckley, mark david chapman, news, phil collins, prank calls, pranks

    We answer our first fan email from our first Patron! Sean asks about our opinion of Genesis, the plight of the banana and our other favorite podcasts. Guinea John asks if the news "spectrum" is purposefully dividing the people. We reminisce about our best prank calls, whether or not "Catcher in the Rye" creates hitmen, and for $5K Guinea John will give you a show to remember via Skype. Pony up that dough, Download, Like and Share.

  • Episode 9: Square Dancing in the Dark

    May 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 33 mins
    billy jack, celebrity net worth, cleveland, comedy, cynic, cynic route, power outage, robert zemeckis, saint dominique, square dancing, steven spielberg, technology, wind storm

    In this episode we tap into the very wide shallow well of our intellects. We go from Cleveland talk, celebrity net worths, and then somehow to the origins of square dancing in gym class. We go over a list of the whitest white people things, touch on some Spielberg and Zemeckis films, and look at an obscene statue of St. Dominique in Australia. We reminisce about wind storms in the area, bitch about losing power, Guinea John declares his love for Billy Jack, and Bruce tells us why technology is making us dumber. So Download, get dumberer, Like and Share.

  • Episode 8: Let's Get Poo-litical

    May 7th, 2018  |  1 hr 19 mins
    berenstain bears, comedy, cynic, cynic route, daca, dreamers, ed mcmahon, gun rights, guns, immigration, lowes, mandella effect, mass shooting, poop

    We have our first in studio guest, Polock Johnny. We start off with some poo stories and then we get poo-litical. We talk immigration, mass shootings, gun rights, and top it all off with the Mandella Effect. Do YOU remember the sweepstakes company Ed McMahon worked for? I bet you don't...Download, Like, and Share.

  • Episode 7: Supersize My McDLT

    April 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 18 mins
    90's, black panther, comedy, cynic, dunkin donuts, hootie, mcdlt, mcdonald's, service animal, vape

    Vacation over. Back to our cynical selves in episode 7. We discuss everything from an old racist encyclopedia to service animals. Bruce goes over a terrible"90's" list, we reminisce about past McDonald's menu items and Guinea John gives us his best Chris Rock. Download, Like, and Share.

  • Episode 6: Your Podcast is Gay

    April 1st, 2018  |  1 hr 22 mins
    comedy, cynic, motorcycle, pet peeves, podcasting, profanity, protests, telemarketing

    We go over a Podcast Pet Peeve list and then go into our very own pet peeves. Guinea John hates loud motorcycles, Bruce hates telemarketers, and Jeff hates protests. But we all love a good AC song. wink

  • Episode 5: Tales of the Pennsylvania Turdpike

    March 18th, 2018  |  1 hr 25 mins
    2008, comedy, cynic, cynic route, driving, driving pet peeves, legalization, marijuana, traffic

    We talk a lot about driving in this one. We look at a traffic pet peeves list, we discuss legalizing ganja, and reminisce about the terrible year, 2008. Buckle up because things get bumpy on the PA Turnpike.

  • Episode 4: Let's Put Another 463 Shrimp on the Barbie...

    March 8th, 2018  |  55 mins 18 secs
    9/11, assassination, australia, comedy, competitive eating, cynic, cynic route, exorcism, patriots

    On this episode we take an Australian slang quiz, watch an exorcism video, we talk about competitive eating, we link 9/11 to the New England Patriots, and Guinea John questions historical assassinations. Go ahead, give it a listen...

  • Episode 3: Would the Real Uncle Jesse Please Stand Up?

    February 26th, 2018  |  1 hr 14 mins
    bananas, comedy, cynic, dukes of hazard, full house, kevin spacey, kiss, louis ck, potassium, route, uncle jesse

    On this episode we discuss how KISS is garbage, how Dukes of Hazard Uncle Jesse is superior to Full House Uncle Jesse, eating healthy and how we know nothing about potassium, the end of Kevin Spacey, and Pulp Fiction vs Reservoir Dogs.

  • Episode 2: Shot Through the Fart

    February 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 29 secs
    3d, balls, bon jovi, colonoscopy, comedy, cynic, drive-in, movie, route

    We discuss the vulnerabilities of balls, Bruce's trip to the 3D movie marathon, Guinea John's deep seeded hatred for Bon Jovi, and Jeff's colonoscopy. Yum, who wants dessert?

  • Episode 1: Poopin' Ain't Easy

    February 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 23 mins
    cirque du soleil, comedy, cynic, fantasy, italian, poop, raspberry, route, sci fi

    We discuss personal poop stories, cirque du soleil, the origins of raspberry flavoring, italian stereotypes, sci fi versus fantasy, and we get way too personal with some butt health.