Taking the Cynic Route
Where Raunchy Wit and Nostalgia meet Bootleg Intellect.
We found 7 episodes of Taking the Cynic Route with the tag “baltimore”.
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Episode 40: A Guinea in the Garage is Worth Two Jackin' Off in the Bush
April 30th, 2020 | 2 hrs 58 mins
baltimore, baseball, bill o'reilly, coronavirus, covid-19, fake news, heather mills, hot open mic, italian food, jim norton, kavanaugh, kyle larson, media, miscarriage, nirvana, opie and anthony, orioles, papa roach, paul mccartney, politics, pro wrestling, protests, puddle of mudd, ravens, serial masturbater, shinedown, sopranos, susan collins, tony soprano, uncle junior, white house
Another quarantined episode in the book. Sad to see a milestone like number 40 being done streamed with one guy at the octagon, one guy fumbling with his mic from his basement 5 miles away, and one guy from his garage/cavern 3,000 miles away. But we made it work. In fact, we made up for the garbage sound quality with the quality of our content. Just kidding. No intro, just three hours of the route that is cynic. We gots deadlines to keeps. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.
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Episode 39: Driving Miss Handy: A Quarantine Extravaganza
April 23rd, 2020 | 4 hrs 5 mins
abbey road, ac/dc, airlines, appetite for destruction, baltimore, beer, bon scott, boston, brian johnson, bruce springsteen, conspiracies, coors light, coronavirus, covid-19, david lee roth, def leppard, divorce, drinking, foo fighters, green day, guns-n-roses, hairy nipples, howard stern, jameson, kiss, kurt cobain, lesbians, marriage, motley crue, nirvana, orioles, pandemic, parasite, pearl jam, pink floyd, pranks, quarantine, queen, quiet riot, ravens, record albums, rolling stones, sex talk, ten, the beatles, the wall, travel, van halen, whiskey, zoom
The only thing the world needed more than a global pandemic was a four hour long episode of this hot garbage. But here it is, for your ear's delight. Jeff mans the octagon while Beer Can Billy and Guinea John connect via the internets. We go deep into the history of both the Guinea and BCB, where no stone is left unturned. We reminisce about old Howard Stern episodes, our past musical performances, and some classic sports memories. BCB gives us a quaran-tour of his basement and record collection. We talk COVID-19 conspiracies, our hairiest past sexual experiences, and we crap all over Bruce since he was the one who didn't show up this time. Sprinkle in a "Driving Miss Daisy" style handy and some casual racism and I think we have ourselves a show. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.
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Episode 37: Polack Johnny Created the Coronavirus in the Back of a Spencer's Gifts
March 9th, 2020 | 2 hrs 15 mins
anquan boldin, artie lange, atlantic star, bad break-ups, baltimore, baltimore ravens, beer review, berry gordy, catherine pugh, coronavirus, derrick mason, dolemite, ed reed, eddie murphy, first jobs, founders, goo goo dolls, grandma, lou ferrigno, mark normand, martin scorsese, masturbation, mayor, meet and greet, mike tyson, pranks, robert deniro, scratch offs, secret lovers, spencer's gifts, the irishman, trailer parks
The new trio welcomes Polack Johnny for some tales of the tail. We share fond(led) memories of Grandma's trailer. Beer Can Billy brings up some more past hijinks and heads our first live beer review. We discuss former Baltimore mayor and cartoon turtle, Catherine Pugh, Atlantic Star's "smash" hit "Secret Lovers," and still the baddest mofo on the planet, Mike Tyson. We reminisce about our first jobs, our first sexual experiences, and garbage celebrity "meet & greets." This one gets off the rails fast so climb aboard the train of terror. Listen now, before the Coronavirus takes your hearing. DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE!
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Episode 36: Harvey Weinstein Didn't Kill Himself...Yet
February 25th, 2020 | 2 hrs 14 mins
baltimore, baltimore ravens, beer can billy, coronavirus, cottonelle, daytona 500, donald trump, genitals, halftime show, hardees, harvey weinstein, j-lo, jeffrey epstein, joe piscopo, pranks, shakira, sign language, super bowl, westboro baptist church, yelp!
Heeeeeere's Billy. Beer Can Billy to be exact. We trade one guinea for another. After a long hiatus the gang is back with more nonsense than ever. The Beer Can tells about past pranks and recent vacations. He have a new Cottonelle Nad-vertisement to dissect, Harvey Weinstein's genitals are nowhere to be found, and Epstein still didn't kill himself. Donald Trump does a lap at Daytona, Bruce reads Yelp! reviews of the Westboro Baptist Church, and Joe Piscopo has always sucked. You get what you pay for here at the Cynic Route. Listen Up, Mutha F*@Ker$! SHARE IT LIKE IT'S THE CORONAVIRUS!
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Episode 34: Beer Can Billy goes to Warshington
September 12th, 2019 | 2 hrs 14 mins
9/11, adderall, auto train, baltimore, baltimore orioles, billy joel, camden yards, chris davis, donald trump, fantasy football, fhritp, fletch, flight 93, genesis, illegal alien, jerry sandusky, jim abbott, massage parlor, once upon a time in hollywood, penn state, pennsylvania turnpike, phil collins, porn stars, precious, quentin tarantino, ravens, redner's chicken, robert kraft, shanksville, shaquille o'neal, the fan, the world of coca cola, trey mancini, tweet, yucko the clown
Don't call it a comeback! It's been too long. Beer Can Billy joined the trio for this one a few weeks back and pushed the boundaries of offense. We reminisce about our summer happenings. BCB saw Billy Joel at Camden Yards, drove on the PA turnpike, took a ride on the Auto Train, and visited both the Flight 93 museum and the infamous Robert Kraft Rub-N-Tug parlor. Guinea John made several trips across the globe. From Hawaii to Italy, from Baltimore to Washington, the travelin' Sicilian has added some miles. We discuss Genesis' "Illegal Alien" and its awful video, watch a compilation of a guy insulting wannabe porn stars, and read another fan email. Obscenities, stereotypes and chauvinism...par for the course when you take the route that is cynic. DOWNLOAD, SUBSCRIBE, LIKE, SHARE! It's cooler than the other side of the My Pillow.
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Episode 30: "Polack" Johnny and the Tale of the Devil's Onion Ring
May 26th, 2019 | 2 hrs 5 mins
90's commercial, alphas, amy schumer, andrea yates, avengers, baltimore, batman, beta, billy jack, bloomin' onion, bohemian rhapsody, boston bomber, boxing, casino, catherine pugh, christopher walken, clitoris, comedy, commercials, cults, diarrhea, dildo pranks, endgame, gillette, godfather, grateful dead, heaven's gate, hemorrhoids, john steinbeck, john waters, mcdonald's, mma, orioles, queen movie, road house, sam kinison, skittles, ted bundy, up in smoke, vaccines, vhs, vince vaughn, vomiting, zac efron
TTCR hits another milestone as episode 30 comes out swinging. We are talking haymakers left and right. Polack Johnny is back in the saddle as the boys dish about everything from deep throating soft serve to hackin' off a hemy while spread wide like a bloomin' onion. If you've ever eaten finger blasters while at the pee trough, episode 30 is the one for you! DOWNLOAD IT TODAY. LISTEN TO IT WHENEVER.
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Episode 26: The Yellow Badge of Courage
March 22nd, 2019 | 1 hr 40 mins
annette bening, baltimore, captain marvel, comedy, cynic, cynic route, donald trump, dust bowl, ethiopia, ethiopia jokes, fox news, great depression, ken burns, melania trump, michael jackson, mick jagger, nin, nine inch nails, podcast, r. kelly, trent reznor, tucker carlson, warren beatty, yawning
You're gonna need your passport and your shots for this one. Episode 26 dives into the wet and the wild. From R. Kelly human trafficking from on stage in Ethiopia to Michael Jackson's monkey love. Guinea John is filling Solo cups with golden showers while Bruce is still crapping in the dark. You'll even learn which stall to choose in a public bathroom. So get your Jergens and your tissues ready for a fappin' good time. DOWNLOAD, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE.