Taking the Cynic Route

Episode Archive

Episode Archive

38 episodes of Taking the Cynic Route since the first episode, which aired on February 22nd, 2018.

  • Episode 22: Weapons of Ass Destruction

    January 21st, 2019  |  1 hr 57 mins
    2018, bear attacks, jimmy snuka, john valby, kfc, masturbation, mean gene okerlund, peter north, porky's 2, pornhub, sam kinison, schweppes, spanish fly, stormy daniels, super dave osborne

    Who's hungry for a delicious bowl of PORN flakes?! In Episode 22 we review the 2018 porn statistics courtesy of PornHub. We discuss hypothetical bear attacks and all the things America shoved up its ass in 2018. Sam Kinison drops by again, again. We talk Peter North, Porky's 2, and mourn a trio of D-list celebrity deaths. Starting the year off with a BANG!

  • Episode 21: Yule Logs and Donkey Dongs: The Smells of Xmas

    January 13th, 2019  |  1 hr 33 mins
    aquaman, artie lange, chris rock, dominick the donkey, feliz navidad, gin and juice, godzilla, hall of fame, janet jackson, key parties, kfc, kirk douglas, mcdonald's, mueller, porn, radiohead, rock & roll hof, roxy music, sam kinison, stevie nicks, swingers, the cure, tim curry, true romance, twister, zeitgeist

    We found a gift behind the tree when we were taking down the hole-a-day decorations. That gift is episode 21. Guinea John is critical of KFC's yule log, Bruce tells us about Twister Key parties, and I took a massive dump just before recording. We discuss the 2019 Rock & Roll HOF, Godzilla porn, and Guinea John enlightens us to a new term, "shirt potatoes." Feliz Navidad can suck Dominick's donkey. Enjoy! DOWNLOAD, LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, SHARE.

  • Episode 20: A Dash of Ripple in Your Taster's Choice?

    December 18th, 2018  |  1 hr 45 mins
    chris rock, christmas, comedy, cynic, cynic route, farts, finger sniffer, geico, george h.w. bush, harold and maude, hemorrhoids, howard stern, hugh hefner, immigration, jewish conspiracy, jimmy carter, louis armstrong, melania trump, monolith, risk, scars, smart phone, taxidermy, time machines

    HAPPY HOLE-A-DAYS! On this joyous episode we discuss Bruce's holiday visitor, Guinea John's butt trumpet, and Hugh Hefner's buried porn treasure. "Chris Rock" stops by, we try out a few new segments, and reminisce about smell-a-vision. There's dookie in the coffee can, immigrants with facial scars, and GEICO is trying to give you a hard-on for insurance. Welcome to the wonderful world of TTCR. Download. Like. Subscribe. Share.

  • Episode 19: Happiness is a Warm Pun, Stephen...

    December 3rd, 2018  |  1 hr 29 mins
    baseball, comedy, cynic, donald trump, james brady, john hinckley, john lennon, kavanaugh, liza minnelli, louis ck, mlb, podcast, ronald reagan, rusty kuntz, star wars, stephen king, susan collins, ttcr

    On this mini masterpiece we touch a little bit of everything. From politics to baseball and Louis CK to the Star Wars Xmas special. We even dive into a conspiracy theory pinning John Lennon's murder on world famous author Stephen King. Honestly, there is just too much nonsensical hilarity to list so you might as well just download and listen.

  • Episode 18: Aromafappathy and the Sticky Cosmos

    November 15th, 2018  |  1 hr 54 mins
    80's films, 90's music, advertising, comedy, cosmopolitan, cynic, cynical, elvis karate, eric clapton, farts, funny, hawaiian volcano, john hughes movies, john wayne, mother's day, mumble rap, north korea, poop, porno, reservoir dogs, sir mix-a-lot, snl, thanksgiving

    On this special episode (18) the TTCR gang welcomes back Scott Monahan to the studio. We dive into Mother's Day advertising, top songs/bands of the early 90's and different things we used for inspiration during adolescent "alone" time. A few awful Eric Clapton jokes, a discussion about John Wayne's poo and a heaping helping of 80's/90's movie discussions and you have yourself one helluva meal. LIKE, DOWNLOAD, SHARE, SUBSCRIBE. PS - Sir Mix-A-Lot > Mumble Rap

  • Episode 17: What If Larry King Hadn't Been Aborted?

    November 8th, 2018  |  1 hr 31 mins
    #hashtag, abortion, apocalypse now, car trouble, charlie sheen, diane keaton, genitalia, glow, hashtag, larry king, martin sheen, mr. goodbar, platoon, ringo, roe v. wade, the banana splits, the godfather, the wire, thomas edison, vietnam, washington d.c.

    This one is a humdinger of a good time. Dust off the ol' dick depot because we are talking TV shows then and now. The Banana Splits, The Wire, and GLOW to name a few. Guinea John explains his hatred for both Larry King and Thomas Edison. Bruce explains how hashtags work. Lots of discussion about abortion and Roe v. Wade which then evolves into us just listing euphemisms for genitalia. Diane Keaton drops by with a few lines from The Godfather and we discuss our favorite Vietnam War movies. I love the smell of roast beef in morning. Download, Like, SHARE, and SUBSCRIBE!

  • Episode 16: Three Shots from the Book Suppository

    October 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 28 mins
    airports, billy crudup, book depository, christopher walken, cocktails, dallas, fabulous thunderbirds, flying, grassy knoll, jackie kennedy, john f. kennedy, lee harvey oswald, lyndon johnson, magic bullet, orioles, robert de niro, russian roulette, texas, the deer hunter, the jfk assassination

    We dive deep into the mayhem on this one. Guinea John had just returned from a trip to Dallas which led to some discussions on flying, the JFK assassination, and another impersonation of Sam Kinison. Bruce leads another movie tangent ranging from Cocktails to The Deer Hunter and we reminisce about some celebrity crackpots. The Orioles still suck, the Fabulous Thunderbirds are still Tuff Enuff and the Mad Pooper is still at large. Taking the Cynic Route is like a box of Chocolates, fat people love us. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE!

  • Episode 15: Blowfly, Don't Bother Soon-Yi

    September 10th, 2018  |  2 hrs 5 mins
    baseball, blowfly, chris davis, kaepernick, metoo, morgan freeman, nofx, orioles, roseanne barr, social media, televangelist private jet, tim tebow, woody allen

    We welcome Beer Can Billy into the studio to share stories and opinions in that sweet, thick, terribly authentic Baltimore accent. We talked about gross people in public, Orioles baseball, and social media's impact on public opinion. We talked about the scandals of the day which were Rosanne Barr, NoFx singer's "off color" quote, and a wealthy televangelist who needs a 4th private jet. Bruce defends Woody Allen to the bitter end and Blowfly and An@l C%t compete for best song titles. Even more topics than I can keep listing so just listen to it already. Download, Like, Share, and SUBSCRIBE. Check out the Ol' Patreon for Patron Only Content!

  • Episode 14: Robert De Niro gave my Koala the Clap

    August 24th, 2018  |  1 hr 38 mins
    incels, jeopardy, joe pesci, last tango in paris, martin scorsese, opie and anthony, pro wrestling, star wars, the lion king

    Scott Monahan drops by and spews his knowledge about. Guinea John reads about Incels. Bruce quotes "Last Tango in Paris" for us. We discuss Pro Wrestling, Joe Pesci, Martin Scorsese's career, The Lion King, Star Wars, Opie and Anthony. We talk about the worst movies we've ever seen and tell some awful, tasteless jokes. You guys are gonna love it! Download, Like, Share and Subscribe. GET ON THAT PATREON DAWG!

  • Episode 13: If You Build It, I will Come...

    July 24th, 2018  |  1 hr 30 mins
    atook the eskimo, baseball movies, chris farley, comedy, cynic, cynic route, fart, field of dreams, goldie hawn, john belushi, john candy, kurt russell, mike tyson, my cousin vinny, o.j. simpson, overboard, phil hartman, wrestling

    Lucky No. 13 leaves no stones unturned and no laughs unheard. We discuss the horrible movie "Overboard," reminisce about wrestling, Mike Tyson, and O.J. Simpson. Guinea John stereotypically brings up "My Cousin Vinny" and Bruce brings up a list of the greatest baseball movies of all time. We look into the cursed script of "Atook the Eskimo," share the best methods for hiding a fart, and for those of you hardcore enough to make it to the end, we sneak in another public poo story. Download, Like, Share and SUBSCRIBE.
    www.takingthecynicroute.com

  • Episode 12: Snatchin' Watches and Cloggin' Toilets

    July 11th, 2018  |  1 hr 43 mins
    2001: a space odyssey, best boobs, bobcat goldthwait, comedy, cynic route, easter, full house, gallagher, jury duty, masn, poop, poop stories, redd foxx, stephen king, video rental

    Welcome to another fun-filled episode. Our guest, Polock Johnny shares some new poop stories. Guinea John rants about the Full House Hydra and MASN, once again. Bruce reminisces about his days working at the video store. We talk Easter, old school comedians, best tit shots of 80's film, Stephen King, and Redd Foxx stops in to share some of his best one-liners. Be Kind, Rewind.

  • Episode 11: Harding/Kerrigan: When Taking a Knee Meant Something

    June 25th, 2018  |  1 hr 33 mins
    9/11, antibiotics, celebrity net worths, drones, flying, lawnmower man, nancy kerrigan, pissing on animals, robo-bees, sam kinison, september 11th, tonya harding, words that sound racist

    This one is a grower not a shower. We kick it off with some travel talk which evolves into air disasters and naturally, 9/11. Robo-bees, drones, Lawnmower Man, and words that sound racist all make appearances in Episode 11. Sam Kinison, Antibiotics, Nancy Kerrigan and Tonya Harding, celebrity net worths, Bruce's deep desire to piss on animals, this episode has it all! Download, Like and Share, Taking the Cynic Route. Check out our Patreon for secret shows. Subscribe to any of our social media accounts, Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.
    www.takingthecynicroute.com

  • Episode 10: Mr.Collins, Is That a Banana in Your Pocket?

    June 5th, 2018  |  1 hr 20 mins
    bananas, catcher in the rye, crank calls, genesis, john hinckley, mark david chapman, news, phil collins, prank calls, pranks

    We answer our first fan email from our first Patron! Sean asks about our opinion of Genesis, the plight of the banana and our other favorite podcasts. Guinea John asks if the news "spectrum" is purposefully dividing the people. We reminisce about our best prank calls, whether or not "Catcher in the Rye" creates hitmen, and for $5K Guinea John will give you a show to remember via Skype. Pony up that dough, Download, Like and Share.

  • Episode 9: Square Dancing in the Dark

    May 22nd, 2018  |  1 hr 33 mins
    billy jack, celebrity net worth, cleveland, comedy, cynic, cynic route, power outage, robert zemeckis, saint dominique, square dancing, steven spielberg, technology, wind storm

    In this episode we tap into the very wide shallow well of our intellects. We go from Cleveland talk, celebrity net worths, and then somehow to the origins of square dancing in gym class. We go over a list of the whitest white people things, touch on some Spielberg and Zemeckis films, and look at an obscene statue of St. Dominique in Australia. We reminisce about wind storms in the area, bitch about losing power, Guinea John declares his love for Billy Jack, and Bruce tells us why technology is making us dumber. So Download, get dumberer, Like and Share.

  • Episode 8: Let's Get Poo-litical

    May 7th, 2018  |  1 hr 19 mins
    berenstain bears, comedy, cynic, cynic route, daca, dreamers, ed mcmahon, gun rights, guns, immigration, lowes, mandella effect, mass shooting, poop

    We have our first in studio guest, Polock Johnny. We start off with some poo stories and then we get poo-litical. We talk immigration, mass shootings, gun rights, and top it all off with the Mandella Effect. Do YOU remember the sweepstakes company Ed McMahon worked for? I bet you don't...Download, Like, and Share.

  • Episode 7: Supersize My McDLT

    April 16th, 2018  |  1 hr 18 mins
    90's, black panther, comedy, cynic, dunkin donuts, hootie, mcdlt, mcdonald's, service animal, vape

    Vacation over. Back to our cynical selves in episode 7. We discuss everything from an old racist encyclopedia to service animals. Bruce goes over a terrible"90's" list, we reminisce about past McDonald's menu items and Guinea John gives us his best Chris Rock. Download, Like, and Share.